Jesus said, “Let the children come to me….” Luke 18:16; Matthew 19:14
Prayer, sacrifice and almsgiving – the three pillars of Lent are not exactly the Happy, Happy, Happy bubble that we’re accustomed to wrapping around our children. Yet we know Lent is a beautiful and necessary season, despite its challenges. That’s true even for young children who have not yet reached the age of reason. They can be drawn into the basic elements of Lent and a beginner’s awareness of Easter joy that may help plant the seeds of understanding why Mom and Dad are okay with a basket of candy magically appearing one Sunday morning.
Connections and comprehension will grow at each child’s pace, but there’s no reason to wait until you think they’ll “get it” when they can start to get it now. Once kids are old enough to be excited about the candy, they’re old enough to begin knowing why it’s there – as long as your expectations keep pace with reality! The Lenten season, while not qualifying as what we normally perceive as fun, does lead to the much longer-lasting joy. For little ones, those seeds can be sown from hands-on purposeful moments, particularly if the early experiences are a reflection of your own awe, reverence, gratitude, and sense of anticipation turning to joy.
Here are a few ideas to help your littlest littles get started on their journey of prayer, sacrifice and almsgiving this Lent.
Prayers (and stories)
A Sacred Space:
If you don’t already have a nice quiet area for reflection, you don’t know what you’re missing! Lent is a good time to create one. It doesn’t have to be big, and it doesn’t even have to be the only thing that happens in that particular space. However, it is helpful, especially for little ones, if the spot is clearly designated for quiet time with God that they (and you!) can use as a private retreat in the midst of the busy-ness of everyday life.
Thinking in terms of items that will be kid-friendly and child-proof (but not forgetting to make it inviting and refreshing for you as well), you can include comfortable places to sit or kneel, a crucifix, rosary beads, age-appropriate Bibles and other Godly books, a statue of Mary, and other pictures or objects that may enhance but not overwhelm the space. You may want to draw your children in by having this be the place where you read a book about Jesus or say a morning prayer together, then letting them know that it’s “open” all day long for them to go and spend some quiet moments with God.
Special Words:
Lent is a time to step it up with prayers. It’s so easy to supply short ones that can be repeated, such as “Jesus, I love you,” or “God bless our family!”
If your kiddos are ready to take it up a notch, you can provide a short opener or prompt and have them complete the thought with a word or phrase of gratitude, praise, or even sorrow for a sin – theirs or another’s. Go with whatever is within each child’s range of understanding. Here are some examples:
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- “Jesus, You are…” (great; wonderful; amazing; terrific; awesome; loving; almighty; our teacher; our Lord; our Savior; God.)
- “Jesus, thank you for…” (Mommy; Daddy; my family; my friends; my pets; our home; my teacher/babysitter; my toys; this food)
- “Jesus, I am sorry…“( …when I am naughty/ I will obey; …when people don’t share/ I will share.)
Maybe your child is ready to start learning one or more of the cornerstone prayers of our faith. Once my kids heard any prayer enough times that they were muttering some of the words, I’d take it to the next level by starting the prayer and then pausing on a word I thought they knew, allowing them a few seconds to fill in the blank: “Our ——, Who art in ——, hallowed be Thy —-….” If they missed a beat, I’d fill it in and move on. As they progressed, I’d pause over phrases rather than single words, and eventually, have them lead the prayer.
The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops website offers a list of traditional Catholic prayers, with (as you can guess!) these three topping the list: the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be. Others include the Prayer to Your Guardian Angel; Morning Offering; Nicene Creed; Apostles’ Creed; Act of Contrition; Act of Faith, Hope, and Love; Angelus; Anima Christi; Divine Praises; Hail, Holy Queen; Memorare; Divine Mercy Chaplet; O Sacrum Convivium; and Tantum Ergo. Some unfamiliar? Their website list links to the words of each prayer: https://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/prayers-and-devotions/prayers/basic-prayers .
Another possibility is to have the older children or adults designate a time and place (or an additional time and place) each day for praying aloud while the very young are underfoot, absorbing the words as they play. Or perhaps family prayer time could be built into the bedtime ritual. Dim lighting and soft calming music in the background can help signify that it’s time for a holy and peaceful occasion meant for quiet communion with God. Conversely, loud upbeat music can signify a holy occasion meant for lifting voices in joyful praise.
Story Times:
Nothing against the fun of the Easter bunny, but he doesn’t belong on center stage when he clearly is not the ‘reason for this season.’ Instead, or at least primarily, spend time reading or looking at pictures in age-appropriate books and Bibles about Jesus’s ministry leading into and including the crucifixion and resurrection. Stories for littles are often sing-song rhymes that, while not formal prayers, are catchy God-loving phrases and a great way to pray. Stories can also be a precursor to the more formal types of prayer by introducing Jesus and other important people, events, and concepts – teaching little ones Who is prayed to and why. Each story can conclude with a simple, “Thank you for loving us, Jesus!”
Egg Hunt with the Story of Easter:
Although we don’t do this during Lent, our Easter egg hunt includes “Resurrection Eggs” to re-tell the story of Holy Week. And it can be adapted to any age, even for very young children.
If you’re not familiar with Resurrection Eggs, they are typically a set of a dozen plastic eggs, numbered 1-12. Each contains a small item or picture as well as a Scripture passage that represent a portion of the Easter story. The first may have a tiny toy donkey or a piece of palm leaf to signify Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem; the second, a coin to represent Judas’ betrayal; and so on through to egg number 12 which may contain a rock for the tomb or be left empty to denote the Resurrection. For an Easter egg hunt, they are scattered along with other plastic eggs that contain the usual treats. We’ve used purple for the Resurrection Eggs so that once all the eggs were found, those were easily identifiable. Then we’d open them sequentially and take turns reading the pieces of the storyline aloud.
There are several variations of what to place in the eggs, and those suggestions (as well as ready-to-purchase sets) are easy to find with an internet search. I like DIY, partly because I like to change things around, emphasizing different aspects of the story according to age and understanding.
To adapt for the little littles, I suggest opening the Resurrection Eggs to share the Easter story before having an egg hunt. I also suggest fewer Eggs – a half-dozen is plenty for their more limited attention span. As with the regular version place an item in each egg that represents a key point about Jesus and Holy Week but, along with the explanation, incorporate some action – even using props to make it more memorable. Here’s an example to use or tweak:
Egg #1:
- Place a picture of a grown-up Jesus or a candy kiss (if your child knows what that is) in the egg.
- Key points: Jesus came to heal the sick, and to show us how to love God and each other better.
- Actions: Laying hands on each child’s head or making the Sign of the Cross on their forehead while explaining that Jesus came to heal the sick; Giving a big hug and kiss when describing that Jesus came to show people how to love better.
Egg #2:
- Place a tiny toy donkey and/or a piece of palm or other kind of leaf in the egg.
- Key Point: Everyone was so happy and excited when Jesus came into the city of Jerusalem!
- Actions: Clapping and shouting “Hurrah!” If you have noisemakers leftover from New Year’s Eve for adding some extra volume, palms from Palm Sunday (or some other grass-like plant leaves) to wave in jubilation, or some inflated balloons that add to the air of party-level excitement, so much the better!
Egg #3:
- Place a cracker (or enough crackers to feed your “crowd”) in the egg.
- Key point: Jesus shared supper with his 12 closest followers, and He gave them some special Bread to eat.
- Action: Distribute the crackers so that everyone can eat together like Jesus’ closest friends and followers.
Egg #4:
- Place a picture or medal of praying hands in the egg.
- Key point: After dinner, Jesus went outside to pray to God the Father.
- Action: Fold hands in prayer and say a simple prayer such as, “God, we love you,” or “God, help us to always do what is good.”
Egg #5:
- Place a crucifix in the egg.
- Key point: This is so sad – some people were so angry with Jesus that they put Him on a cross to die. His friends were very sad, even though Jesus told them that everything would be okay.
- Action: Pretend crying and wiping tears away out of sadness.
Egg #6:
- Place nothing in the egg; leave it empty like the tomb, or (my preference for the very young), place a picture or small statue of Jesus (not on the cross) inside.
- Key points: Some of Jesus’ friends sadly went to the tomb – and were so surprised to discover that Jesus wasn’t in there. Later, Jesus came to see them and show them He was alive. It was a miracle! Before going up to Heaven, He told his special friends that someday they would all live with Him in there. And we can too!
- Actions: When opening the last egg, count together, “1 day – 2 days – 3 days” to emphasize that it was on Day #3 when friends went to the tomb and discovered He was not there. Then after the key points, invite all to search for Easter eggs with treats inside to celebrate that Jesus is alive!
Sacrifice
Once a child can grasp the idea that giving is a good thing, that can be extended to doing things during this “special season of making sacrifices”, or “doing nice things, for Jesus/God”.
Traditional Observance:
The traditional practice of giving up a favorite treat goes a long way toward introducing and then building the abilities to make sacrifices and to delay gratification. Those are counter-cultural tools in most of our society, and ones that will help them learn-by-doing to withstand temptations.
At the Cross
As a daily offering, lay a flower, drawing, or a note of praise dictated by your child – some tangible gift – at the foot of the crucifix. Add to ceremony by saying a quick prayer together.
Removing “Thorns” from Crown of Thorns
Make a Crown of Thorns out of homemade play dough and toothpicks*. Explain that, even though WE know that Jesus is King of everything and everybody, a long time ago when Jesus was living on earth, some bad people made a crown out of thorns for Him as a way to make fun of God. Jesus wants everyone to do good and treat each other kindly, and He is hurt when people are not loving toward each other.
With this homemade Crown of Thorns, though, instead of hurting Jesus, a thorn can be taken out for every good deed, act of kindness, or apology rendered. Each good action takes away pain and replaces it with joy. Throughout Lent, as toothpicks are removed from the crown, they are placed into a bowl. On Easter morning, lo and behold, all those sweet deeds just may have been replaced by sweet candies!
Shape your homemade play dough into a large circle crown then randomly stick the crown with a toothpick at least 40 times, wiggling it slightly with each poke to ensure that the hole is a little wider than the toothpick. Allow to dry, then place toothpicks in the holes. (If you put the toothpicks in and then let it dry, there’s a risk that they’ll get stuck in there!)
Almsgiving
Determine what you want to do as a family for almsgiving, then find a way to involve your little ones in this care for the poor. Keep in mind that you’re trying to instill generosity for the others’ and for God’s sake rather than for the feel-good factor. While a surge of happiness from giving is usually inevitable, and the pleasure in your voice will certainly aid the positive vibe, this is not a time for high praise that exalts your child. So, rather than, “Good job! You’re so generous!,” try something like, “Cereal is a great choice! I’m so thankful we have enough to share with a hungry person.” Or, “God loves it when we help take care of others! This package of socks will keep someone’s feet warm.”
Along with not glorifying your child, it’s so important to emphasize the connection to God. In our culture today, much of our doing-good has been – ironically – divorced from God, Who is the source of all goodness, including generosity. That is to our and society’s detriment. It’s like forgetting where the well is. Better to teach our children (and remind ourselves) Who is the source. We may be instruments of generosity, but help them recognize that He is the ultimate and only true benefactor.
Money:
Your little one can be in charge of collecting change from Mom and/or Dad to put in a jar, especially set aside for Lent. The contents can be emptied (in part or in full) each Sunday into the church basket by them, or Mom or Dad can be in charge (like they are for all things monetary!) and send a donation to another Godly cause (i.e., pregnancy care center, food pantry, Catholic Charities, a Catholic website that provides programming, etc.)
Again, keep the focus on our matter-of-fact responsibility to help fill others’ needs. God is generous to us; we need to follow His model and command by being generous to others.
Food/Household Goods/Toys:
Set aside a shelf that is reachable, stock it with items you can afford to give away, and have your child choose something (or children can take turns choosing something) each day to put in a special basket or bag to be brought to the local food pantry, a homeless shelter, or pregnancy counseling center (or home). For some pre-planning guidance, organizations usually have a list of preferred items, as well as items they cannot accept, on their websites.
If your young ones are not familiar with or have trouble with sharing, you may want to avoid putting their favorites on the give-away shelf so they can learn the joy of giving without any agony of parting with their favorite things! Not that those kinds of items shouldn’t make their way into what you give away; just don’t make your child do it if it will cause distress. (On the other hand, some children prefer to give away something they love, because they “know” that another child just-like-them will also love it. They can better relate to someone else’s enjoyment of something because they have experienced it.)
Less Can Be More
Naturally, not only does everything not need to be done, but it also does not all need to be done every day of Lent. One way to touch on the three pillars but not get bogged down by trying to keep up with it all is to do one type of thing each day. To that end, you could try one of these ideas:
Jar of Joy
Brainstorm and write down ideas of sacrifices and activities that are do-able for your crew and toss these slips of paper into a jar so that one can be chosen each morning. If prayers are the most do-able, make most of the notes centered on that. If the local food pantry or pregnancy counseling center particularly tug at your heartstrings, go heavier on donations to those. Ideas can be added as you think of them! And color-coding the notes may help to ensure that the day’s choice will fit in with the day’s schedule.)
Count the Days
Remember those paper chains from elementary school? If you’re feeling a little more ambitious or creative – or if you have older children who can handle the task – write a different prayer, sacrifice, or donation on each paper link and then make a chain as long as there are days in Lent. It’s always around 40, but it varies slightly from year to year. Purple would be a good color to use to highlight the traditional color to signify penance, sacrifice, and preparation. Again, adapt the ideas for the chain links to your family’s time and money constraints.
Map it Out
This is the same idea as the links, only instead of a chain of loops, it’s one piece of paper with boxes drawn (one for each day) to form a connected path that journeys from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday. Picture a young child’s board game – the kind that has a winding route on which the players take turns counting the proper number of spaces for their move. This path toward Easter has a spot to “land on” (or get crossed off) every day, with an activity listed for each day.
We help each other grow, so please don’t hesitate to share helpful ideas or comments. Do you have a favorite tradition, book, other resource, or an idea you’re contemplating to help the littlest of the littles learn more about Lent and Easter? Please recommend in the comments section!