Like any good intention, we can overwhelm ourselves when deciding to revamp our spiritual life. Major resolutions, no matter how well-intentioned, frequently wane or backfire, often leading us to conclude that we lack ability, conviction, will power, good timing, or even faith.
But a lot of research points to a different culprit: habits.
In his popular book, Atomic Habits, author James Clear describes how our patterned behavior impacts our successes and failures. More importantly, he addresses how we can benefit from this knowledge by making minor, even seemingly insignificant, adjustments or additions to our routines to yield extraordinary progress.
For me, I see how “baby steps” enhanced and advanced my faith life, leading to significant transformations. For most, I either substituted one behavior for another (the “instead of this, I’ll do that” formula), opted to multi-task (“along with this, I can easily do that“), or added something onto an already established activity (“immediately after this, I’ll do that“). Here are ten that delivered on the high-impact promise that small changes yield big results.
Five to Fifteen Morning Minutes
I already loved a few minutes of quiet and tea in the morning before little people woke up and I became “Mom” again. So it didn’t take much convincing for me to substitute my own blah-blah-blah thoughts with ones that were more inspired. I started with Catholic Women’s Bible, but have switched it up through the years with devotionals, Mass readings for the day, brief reflections about the readings or a particular topic, or a passage from a Catholic book. (Those “one-a-day/through-the-year” books are great for having something meaningful, brief, and ready-to-go). Sometimes all I could muster was a quick recitation of a traditional prayer, but I kept to the routine. The number of minutes didn’t matter anywhere near as much as faithfully showing up.
Although well-entrenched now, I still note this activity on my daily to-do list as “First Fruits” – a reminder of Who the day belongs to and how I should aim to orient each moment. I never want to slip back into the blah-blah-blah habit.
Catholic Radio
Particularly during the peak of my mile-laden drop-kids-off/pick-kids-up years, having the car radio tuned to the local Catholic radio station was an invaluable (and incredibly easy) habit to maintain. I never changed the station, and I learned so much from the varied programming. I was frequently amazed at how a cradle-Catholic such as myself was so ignorant of many points of the Faith. This school on wheels was an amazing boost to my Catholic education.
Podcasts
With electronic resources becoming more readily available, I’ve gotten into the habit of tuning in to more podcasts during my daily walk, as well as catching up on favorites during long drives. In recent years, Fr. Mike Schmitz and his team have blessed us all with Bible in a Year and Catechism in a Year, with each installment lasting about 20 minutes. His Sunday homilies, as well as those of Bishop Robert Barron, have also been a treasure for me. All segments are either numbered or dated, which helps me keep my place and track my progress. While Fr. Mike and Bishop Barron are two of my favorites, and each has a large library of topics addressed, there are many others who offer inspiring and insightful (and authentically Catholic) programs and talks.
Praying the Rosary
Years ago, a neighborhood woman I was getting to know asked me if I wanted to join in on a weekly Rosary. Believe it or not, this cradle-Catholic had never prayed the Rosary before. Lucky for me, it was easy to catch on! Of course, knowing the prayers helped 🙂 but there are also guides available in print and online. While not a decisive baby step of my own making, that was my introduction – and there was something so peaceful and holy about that time, that I was quickly hooked.
Nowadays, my afternoon break almost always provides the time to pray the Rosary. Even when I don’t enter into its mysteries as deeply as I would like, there is something so comforting and beautiful about spending time with and requesting intercession from Our Holy Mother. And that consistency, that daily ritual, honors her, honors Our Lord, and leads me to draw close to her in other times of prayer as well.
Daily Mass
At first it was just one extra Mass a week, with me sneaking away on Saturday mornings before the day began for the rest of the family. It was wonderful. Eventually, when we switched over to homeschooling, morning Mass became the norm. We were fortunate – our Church was only ten minutes away, and with the weekday Masses being shorter, we could start each day with an early Mass then breakfast, or if running late, we could go to a different Mass before lunch. Our parish eventually dropped the mid-day Mass, but by then we had plenty of practice in regular early attendance.
Like so many things of faith, it’s hard to draw a hard cause-to-consequence line between the two, but nonetheless, I am certain that the success of our homeschool experience (three who went on to college and careers with their faith intact and continuing to grow) is directly related to daily Mass and reception of the Eucharist.
Prayers Before and After Mass
Like many people, before Mass I try to call to mind my own and others’ intentions to offer up. Then after Mass, I have a short list of what I consider my must-say prayers. These only take a few minutes but help me reenforce the bonds between Church Triumphant (Church in Heaven), Church Militant (Church on earth), and Church Suffering (Church in Purgatory). While it would be ideal to arrive early and stay late in the Church for these, I’m usually not early enough and, after the final blessing, our Church gets rather chatty – which makes it hard for me to concentrate.
Instead, I usually have to make-do with the to and fro travel time. While on-the-go is not perfect, it’s the routine that works and keeps me connected to the known needs of friends and family as well as to the saints who have special meaning to my loved ones or who are known to have special compassion for our present needs. To give you an example, mine include a Glory Be; the Our Father (aka, The Lord’s Prayer); a Hail Mary; another Hail Mary for priests and religious; the Fatima Prayer; Prayer to St. Michael; Prayer of St. Gertrude for the Holy Souls in Purgatory; the Guardian Angel Prayer; and a homespun litany of saints asking for the help and intercession of several patron, Confirmation, namesake, and other “favorite” saints.
Stopping in at Church
One of my sons had basketball practice in a gym attached to a Catholic Church. One day while waiting for him, I realized I was missing an opportunity to visit with Jesus in the Tabernacle. That became my routine for the season. The adage, Silence is golden, takes on new meaning when sitting in a pew absorbing the quiet presence of God.
Our Church now offers Adoration every Thursday and I committed to go for an hour in the evening each week. Recently, driving through an intimidating dense fog to get there, I felt a little surge of pride about my dedication. Embarrassing, right? As I settled into the pew, however, the first inspired thought that came to mind was Our Lord wryly saying, ‘You drove 12 miles to see Me… but I came down from Heaven to see you!’ Such a good reminder that this – like all the opportunities offered by our Church and Catholic life – are not for God’s benefit, but for ours. Short or long, God is so glad we spend time with Him getting refreshed and reoriented to the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Confession
Let me admit this upfront: I wrestle with hesitancy over going to Confession even though I know it’s one of the healthiest things I can do for my soul. The sacrament is also absolutely genius: taking time to think about our behaviors; facing up to the ways and times we’ve turned our backs on God; desiring and determining to turn away from the sins; unburdening ourselves of those obstacles to holiness to a priest; bringing them to light anonymously and without fear of admissions leaving the confessional; receiving the healing words of forgiveness; and performing the prescribed penance that helps us actively turn back toward holiness.
What’s not to love? In fact, our whole society would be transformed if more Catholics – who comprise nearly 25% of the US population – habitually availed themselves of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
The easiest way for me to do this regularly is to treat it as an appointment that I do in conjunction with an already-established routine – in my case, that would be Adoration because our church offers Confession during that time.) Recommendations about frequency for Catholics who have not committed a serious, i.e., mortal, sin is to go to once a week or once a month. For mortal sin, a Catholic is required to go at least once a year, but shouldn’t delay.
Need help finding a time and place that fits your life? Visit Masstimes.org , enter your zip code, and make selections from the drop-down menus. (The search default is for Mass, but pull that tab down for Confession.)
Retreats
There’s something about mixing God with community that is very appealing to me. I’m so grateful I stumbled into opportunities to participate in an annual winter retreat, and later, an annual pilgrimage. Both offered a mix of instruction, fellowship, and access to sacraments. Stepping away from the day-to-day to dedicate time and attention to a relationship with God is so fruitful.
An overnight or weekend venture, even if only once a year, takes effort and planning. For some people or for some seasons of life, it may not be possible, or certainly wouldn’t classify as a baby step!
If that describes your situation, I’d still encourage a “mini-retreat” – a specific and regular time designated for attending a conference or lecture, enrolling in a course, or registering for a webinar, that focuses on developing a better understanding of our faith and ways to apply it. Retreat centers, seminaries, parishes, Catholic websites, and Catholic organizations such as the Magnificat Ministry to Catholic Women or Knights of Columbus (to name just two), all are aware of how busy people are and offer programs to fit real life.
Bedtime
By the time I get to bed, I have anywhere between 35 seconds and 15 minutes before falling asleep. With that short time span, I’ve adopted the habit of keeping a book or magazine on the nightstand that offers a brief reflection or meditation, the day’s Church readings, a short saint biography or the like. A paragraph or one page is good for me. I’m working on turning this time over to the St. Ignatius’ Daily Examen, but I first need to learn more and then develop the habit of starting earlier so I don’t fall asleep in my attempts.
In other words, I’m feeling the promptings to take another baby step. It’s a never-ending process, as it should be.
Getting Started on Your Journey
The important thing (obviously) is to start and start small. Choose something appealing or easy and adapt it to your life. To help with specific recommendations for practices and resources, look to a faith-filled friend, a devout priest, a trusted Catholic website, and even Internet searches. (One caveat: be sure to use authentically Catholic resources, avoiding any that, well-intentioned or not, are not faithful to the Magisterium of the Church.)
There’s no need to make it complicated or to get too far ahead of yourself. In fact, if I had made a list years ago of ways to improve my faith-life, it probably would have looked very different from what actually transpired. Each little movement forward opened up new horizons. Examen aside, each of the above is now part of my daily, weekly, or annual routine – but I didn’t start them all at once, and I continually rework aspects of each even while I discover other practices to explore.
Just keep it do-able, and don’t worry if you stumble! Choose to begin one new habit or add another layer to an established routine. And when tempted to think in terms of progress, dramatic resolutions, or herculean efforts, remind yourself that all destinations are reached by a series of incremental steps.
Whatever route you choose, may your journey be blessed!
Photo by Thomas Vitali on Unsplash